Dinosaur FAIL!

Posted at CARM on February 23rd, 2010. Creationist/the Misinformed: DJ.

Question asked:
Question to Creationists: Did Dinos exist during biblical times, or is god just messing with us?

DJ's response:
Yes. Coelacanth.

BWA HA HA HA! Coelocanth. Dinosaur. Yeah. They're totally the same.

-Erin

Fire FAIL

Posted at CARM on December 1st, 2009. Creationist: Dad

*in reference to the topic of the KT Boundary*

Dad:

Interesting that the movie claims that all plants on the planet were wiped out. Sounds like the flood. Also, Iridium. From space and deep below the earth. Flood. Mass extinction...flood. Lots of burned trees, and stuff. Nothing about that whic wouldn't fit into a worldwide disated, in a world of wicked men!

First thought: floods set trees on fire? Well, yes, floods do cause fires. But this supposed GLOBAL flood? Without gas lines or electrical lines to bust through and cause said fire? Lol.

-Erin

Multiple FAIL

Posted at CARM on Nov 20th, 2009. Creationist: LW.

LW:

Vesuvius was within recorded history. Fair game for anything within recorded history.

So that means you have to stop at 3000 BC and no further. Oddly, 3000 BC stops you in Mesopotamia - the cradle of civilization - where all forms of culture magically exploded in a flash of human history.

Roar:

How exactly do you think the volcano formed in the first place?

Also, cradle of civilization my ***. Go tell that to the Chinese.

LW:

the Chinese have a foreshortened history of the world. Let's see, what year is is it on the Chinese calendar? 4+ billion? I don't think so.

Roar:

The Chinese had that whole civilization bit done well before anyone did in the middle-east.

LW:

2009 marks year 4707 of the Chinese new year, putting their civilization in the 2700 BC range - but the city of Ebla (middle east, Circa 3200 BC) has them beat by half a millennia

more unfortunately for you - lists found in the 170,000-tablet library at Ebla list the same cities of the plain as found in Genesis, including Sodom and Gomorrah as trading partners.

Alas, and alas for you.

Geeze. Ignorant of how volcanoes form AND human history! And he's a public high school science teacher!

-Erin

Star of Bethlehem FAIL

Posted at CARM on November 20th, 2009. Creationist: Dad.

This is his actual point of view regarding the Star of Bethlehem in the Bible.

The star of Bethlehem was not seen, or recorded by nations too far from Israel. That rules it out, far as I can tell, as being a star, in the modern sense of the word. Of course planets, and lights in the sky were called stars by the ancients.
What's left?

The flying wheels of God, mentioned in Ezekiel show us that God has a flying spaceship. It really makes good sense that the Father was there around the time of the birth of His Son.

It was apparently hovering over the area. That is why China, and other far countries didn't see it. It also guided the wise men right to a house. Nothing else fits the bill.

Mystery solved.

God's Space ship. Riiiiiight.

No, God really does have a ship that spans the universes. Including this one. It was here before this one started to exist. God was hovering over the waters (earth) right there in creation week, day 1. It is quite reasonable to assume He was in His wheels, described in Eze in some detail.

What it is called, if anything, we don't know. I call it the 'Scepter'

And they wonder why we don't take them seriously.

The ship was hovering over earth creation week, 'doing creation stuff'.

It is simply a matter of record He has flying wheels. But, as I pointed out in another post here, not merely a starship. This baby was here before the stars.

Holy crap that was classic. I hope to GOD this is a poe...but if not? Classic.

-Erin

Understanding FAIL

Posted at CARM on October 15th, 2009. Creationist: Spider.

DNA:

If you have a creationist account for things like cladistics = geology = genetics or endogenous retroviruses or broken vitamin C genes, I'd love to hear them.

Spider:

Honestly, I don't know what you just said, but I'm guessing that was your point. But again, you dismiss things every day w/out knowing the details of them, so why can't I?

*gigglesnort* At least he was honest.

-Erin

Comprehension FAIL

Posted at CARM on October 15th, 2009. Creationist: Spider

G:

What exactly did you think that evolution is?

Spider:

My mom had black hair. I have black hair. Whoopee.

My sister is not a frog though.

WOW! Misunderstanding to the MAX!

-Erin

Atheist WIN

Posted at CARM on October 14th, 2009. Creationist: Scar. Atheist: Phro.

Scar:

come on then atheists, sell it to me

tell me exactly how my life would be happier and more satisfiying by dumping Christianity and becoming atheist

don't complain about being asked to sell it

in the real world where if you don't sell then you don't have a business and no one will give you money because you have nothing to offer anyone

so sell it, sell your atheism to a Christian

Phro:

No. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

BRILLIANT!

-Erin